I don't suspect I deserve it, either. I'm not quite selfless enough to give up the chance all the same.
( he's killed people, ruined lives, and made mistakes deep enough that perhaps they should not be forgiven. still, if the choice is free and without consequence, why wouldn't he want to live? )
sounds like a good excuse not to tell you the truth to me.
I don't suppose it'd be easy, to be in that position. I can scarcely imagine it.
( he's not sure he wants to, either. he's already met a version of Emma that has experienced his death, it would be hard to see her in love with someone else, even if he could conceptualize the idea she was a different version of the woman he loved. )
you're not disqualified from caring about someone. it's akin to suicide to choose not to live when there's an alternative, it's hard not to care about that. still, you can't make him want to keep going, I don't think even the version of you out there that loves him in return could. it's something he'll need to choose for himself.
when I sorted out what was in store for me, I needed time, too. in the moment it's easy to get lost in what you're losing. it takes time to shake the hopelessness and decide to fight instead.
( Graham would know, considering he's been in the same place before. )
[ Or maybe he needs the version of her who can't come here to fight for him. And that's where the guilt sets in - not enough to make her want to leave, but enough to make her want to help.
It just seems like her help isn't wanted this time.]
no matter how stubborn you are, Emma Swan, you can't make someone want to keep fighting. they've got to choose it for themselves.
( he knows her, and he knows it bothers her, but that doesn't change it. you could lead a horse to water, but nothing could make it drink. same with suicidal pirates, they had to decide for themselves they had something to live for. )
haven't finalized yet. I guess I wanted a little more time.
I could always threaten to kill him a few times and see what that does for his will to survive.
[ She's not serious, only frustrated. It feels like her happiness, their happiness, is a contributing factor in Hook throwing his life away. What is she supposed to do with that?]
seems to be going a bit in the wrong direction, I think.
( for all his teasing, he really just wants her to consider it from a different perspective. it's likely more complicated than she can really understand. having the reality of death hanging over you isn't an easy idea to face. the man might need time, and at the very least Eudio could grant it to him. )
when I go, I intend to bring my brother back with me.
( he has to hope the wolf is still in Emma's version of Storybrooke somewhere. he hopes to see him again, but that doesn't make saying goodbye easier. )
( it's a whole damn town of people that aren't going to see him again. no wonder he needs a little time to prepare. )
I don't relish this, Emma. I just don't have a choice. besides, he won't be alone. he will remember you, even if you don't remember him.
( he hopes they can come together, however unlikely that hope seems at the moment. when the curse breaks, he hopes the Emma of his world can remember the wolf that guided him, and feel like a piece of him is still with her. though maybe she won't want one. )
So even though he's a member of our family, you get to decide when he goes back?
[ Did she actually expect a say in this? Could be that she's feeling a little blindsided by this. For someone who needed some time to adjust to living with a wolf, she's suddenly hit by how much it'll hurt to see him go.]
( that she's angry with him stings, more than it should. she's not the only one losing family here. he's losing an entire world for a chance to be with her. )
I have to leave everything of my world to be with you, Emma. I didn't mean to spring it on you. If you need more time then I'll wait.
[ There's still that initial reaction, the one where she might've considered typing sorry I'm such an inconvenience, and backed down. He's never made her wonder whether or not it's worth it, and it's not a crime to acknowledge that leaving his life behind isn't easy.]
I guess there's no point. If we're waiting for the day when we're both ready, that day won't come.
there is. if I needed time, I'm not sure why it didn't occur to me that you might, too.
( he can give her that. it's fair to be upset that he made the decision without her, though it's more that he thought she alreadg realized exactly what going with her would entail. what his trip back meant; saying his goodbyes and leaving his own reality behind for the chance at one with her. )
I thought he'd go back when we went home. Not while we're here and he could be with us.
[ She thinks about their versions of Storybrooke having the same people in it, not the adjustment he's going to have to make or what this means for Brother. Suddenly, it's not as easy as she thought it would be.]
it might not make sense, but I feel as if until I can't look toward the future with one foot still in the past.
I need to say my goodbyes but after this I think it's best I don't go back. at least this way I can see him settled, instead of lost all over again when we move on.
( could he wait longer? Possibly. yet willing up the strength to cut ties was hard enough. he didn't want to lose nerve or wait longer and only make things harder in the end. )
I'm sorry I sprung it on you. I didn't think about how losing him would affect you, and I should have. we have a little more time. it's worth it, I meant that.
( he isn't the only one who deserves a chance to say goodbye. )
her, and the rest of town Without my heart I felt so disconnected, but looking back I know there are people that cared about me. they all deserve a goodbye.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2016-10-29 11:35 pm (UTC)( he's killed people, ruined lives, and made mistakes deep enough that perhaps they should not be forgiven. still, if the choice is free and without consequence, why wouldn't he want to live? )
sounds like a good excuse not to tell you the truth to me.
no subject
Date: 2016-10-30 12:02 am (UTC)- Not about you.
That I'll fight for what I have whether I deserve it or not.
[ Specifically, Graham and Henry. It's hard to feel like she deserves a second chance when she's the one who got him killed in the first place.]
Does it? Or am I disqualified from trying to help because I married someone else?
no subject
Date: 2016-10-30 12:54 am (UTC)( he's not sure he wants to, either. he's already met a version of Emma that has experienced his death, it would be hard to see her in love with someone else, even if he could conceptualize the idea she was a different version of the woman he loved. )
you're not disqualified from caring about someone. it's akin to suicide to choose not to live when there's an alternative, it's hard not to care about that. still, you can't make him want to keep going, I don't think even the version of you out there that loves him in return could. it's something he'll need to choose for himself.
no subject
Date: 2016-10-30 01:39 am (UTC)[ She can't completely put herself in that situation, even if Graham has another version of her who he's concerned about. It's not the same.]
There has to be something, Graham.
no subject
Date: 2016-10-30 03:28 am (UTC)when I sorted out what was in store for me, I needed time, too. in the moment it's easy to get lost in what you're losing. it takes time to shake the hopelessness and decide to fight instead.
( Graham would know, considering he's been in the same place before. )
no subject
Date: 2016-11-02 05:44 am (UTC)[ Or maybe he needs the version of her who can't come here to fight for him. And that's where the guilt sets in - not enough to make her want to leave, but enough to make her want to help.
It just seems like her help isn't wanted this time.]
When are you going back to your world?
no subject
Date: 2016-11-02 05:56 am (UTC)( he knows her, and he knows it bothers her, but that doesn't change it. you could lead a horse to water, but nothing could make it drink. same with suicidal pirates, they had to decide for themselves they had something to live for. )
haven't finalized yet. I guess I wanted a little more time.
no subject
Date: 2016-11-02 06:00 am (UTC)[ She's not serious, only frustrated. It feels like her happiness, their happiness, is a contributing factor in Hook throwing his life away. What is she supposed to do with that?]
Time for what?
no subject
Date: 2016-11-02 06:07 am (UTC)( for all his teasing, he really just wants her to consider it from a different perspective. it's likely more complicated than she can really understand. having the reality of death hanging over you isn't an easy idea to face. the man might need time, and at the very least Eudio could grant it to him. )
when I go, I intend to bring my brother back with me.
( he has to hope the wolf is still in Emma's version of Storybrooke somewhere. he hopes to see him again, but that doesn't make saying goodbye easier. )
no subject
Date: 2016-11-02 06:12 am (UTC)[ Graham, why would you? ]
no subject
Date: 2016-11-02 06:17 am (UTC)( it's a whole damn town of people that aren't going to see him again. no wonder he needs a little time to prepare. )
I don't relish this, Emma. I just don't have a choice. besides, he won't be alone. he will remember you, even if you don't remember him.
( he hopes they can come together, however unlikely that hope seems at the moment. when the curse breaks, he hopes the Emma of his world can remember the wolf that guided him, and feel like a piece of him is still with her. though maybe she won't want one. )
no subject
Date: 2016-11-04 03:17 am (UTC)[ Did she actually expect a say in this? Could be that she's feeling a little blindsided by this. For someone who needed some time to adjust to living with a wolf, she's suddenly hit by how much it'll hurt to see him go.]
no subject
Date: 2016-11-04 04:51 am (UTC)I have to leave everything of my world to be with you, Emma.
I didn't mean to spring it on you. If you need more time then I'll wait.
no subject
Date: 2016-11-04 05:03 am (UTC)I guess there's no point.
If we're waiting for the day when we're both ready, that day won't come.
no subject
Date: 2016-11-04 05:23 am (UTC)( he can give her that. it's fair to be upset that he made the decision without her, though it's more that he thought she alreadg realized exactly what going with her would entail. what his trip back meant; saying his goodbyes and leaving his own reality behind for the chance at one with her. )
no subject
Date: 2016-11-04 05:36 am (UTC)[ She thinks about their versions of Storybrooke having the same people in it, not the adjustment he's going to have to make or what this means for Brother.
Suddenly, it's not as easy as she thought it would be.]
no subject
Date: 2016-11-04 05:44 am (UTC)I need to say my goodbyes but after this I think it's best I don't go back. at least this way I can see him settled, instead of lost all over again when we move on.
( could he wait longer? Possibly. yet willing up the strength to cut ties was hard enough. he didn't want to lose nerve or wait longer and only make things harder in the end. )
no subject
Date: 2016-11-04 05:54 am (UTC)[Don't get her wrong, she hates it - but it makes sense.]
no subject
Date: 2016-11-04 06:00 am (UTC)we have a little more time. it's worth it, I meant that.
( he isn't the only one who deserves a chance to say goodbye. )
no subject
Date: 2016-11-04 06:21 am (UTC)I understand why you have to go back, I get that want to do right by her.
[It's a little clearer, now that she's seen the alternative.]
no subject
Date: 2016-11-05 03:04 am (UTC)Without my heart I felt so disconnected, but looking back I know there are people that cared about me. they all deserve a goodbye.
no subject
Date: 2016-11-05 03:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-11-05 03:34 am (UTC)More than that, but a goodbye is all I can give.
no subject
Date: 2016-11-05 04:31 am (UTC)In my world, we've lived the worst case scenario.
no subject
Date: 2016-11-05 04:52 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: